we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
that is very illegal...i love you.
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