there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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