this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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