If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
