But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
