i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
