the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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