i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Im part way to drunk.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
