i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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