I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
