I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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