I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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