her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
