Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize