Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
