Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
