It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
