The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
