quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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