i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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