i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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