so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Randomize
