I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
