i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
