dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
