Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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