He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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