I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
