HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
