There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
