fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
