It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize