i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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