i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
