I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
