Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
