I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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