we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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