We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
3 2 1 whiskey
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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