Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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