He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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