i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
