how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
