its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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