Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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