Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
