I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
