There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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