Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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