do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
