you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
