Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
accomplished twins. life is a go
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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