You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
