That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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