to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
