Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
