also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
