Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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