But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
