Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
