Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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