they're like a gay fantastic four
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
