Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
