Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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