Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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