I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Randomize
