sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
